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Dear Parents and Guardians, Good morning, everyone! As we are now several weeks into this new normal, it might be a good time to take a pause and think about what aspects of this new life you and your family are grateful for. Although these circumstances have created many hardships and have required changes and sacrifices from all families, there are likely a few bright spots. Sometimes, it is difficult to feel thankful and this is normal and OK. Sometimes when we take the time to think of these things, it actually helps us cope with the difficult parts of our lives. Today’s focus skills is using finger tracing as a way of recognizing things we are grateful for. Using the five fingers of your hand as a guide, help your child think through one thing in each category that they are grateful for (and feel free to participate as well!) -- this becomes your child’s Top 5 list. One strategy for calming down or coping with difficult things is to return to your Top 5 list and slowly trace each finger while picturing the area of gratitude. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Brainstorm areas of gratitude with your child. This may be a good activity to do with the whole family, everyone sharing different things they are grateful for. ● Take time to express gratitude with your child (for example, take turns at dinner or bed time to talk about something that happened during the day to be grateful for). ● Provide positive praise when you hear your child expressing gratitude (That was thoughtful of you to help your brother find his toy. I’m sure that made him feel good.). ● Go to Gonoodle.com: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/be-grateful for a short gratitude activity In this time of uncertainty and change, one way to shift to a more positive mindset at home is to start a “pay it forward” challenge within your family. One person does something nice for someone else, that person recognizes the kind act and then performs a kind act for someone else, and the pattern continues. Alternatively, your family could set up a “kindness count” (paper posted on the refrigerator, jar that is filled with marbles, etc.). Each time a family member recognizes something kind that another person did, a tally (or marble) is added to the count. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

Today’s target skill is using a just right approach when interacting with others. There are three ways a person can approach all interactions (speaking, body language, actions, etc.): the too much, the too little, and the just right way. ● Too much: is often too loud, it may hurt people’s ears, and can cause people to feel uncomfortable. It is kind of like communicating/acting like a lion. A lion often roars and is aggressive when with others. ● Too little: This way is often very quiet or not communicating (saying nothing or very little, not sharing ideas, opinions, or feelings). This can cause others to feel confused and you are less likely to get what you need because people don’t understand what you need. This is kind of like communicating/acting like a mouse (running away, hiding, and being quiet). This is a passive way to communicate. ● Just right: This way isn’t too loud or quiet. It is using an important and courageous voice. It’s sharing ideas and also listening to ideas. It’s being able to share ideas, opinions, and feelings in an assertive and respectful manner. It is kind of like a friendly dog who you want to be around because it makes you feel happy and comfortable. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Brainstorm a "too much", "too little", and "just right" ways of responding to typical situations; suggestions include: 1. Saying good morning to family members 2. Asking for a drink at dinner 3. Wanting a turn watching TV ● For younger children, it might be helpful to draw out the three possible responses to a chosen scenario to help highlight the differences. ● Part of responding to others in the just right way is being assertive (without being aggressive) in letting others know what you feel and need. ● Remind your child that using the "just right" approach is difficult, especially when our bodies begin to feel stressed or when we are going up on the 5-point scale. Remind your child of calming strategies available at home (break area, stuffed animal, drawing, etc.) to use. These will help calm the body so that the just right approach can be used. ● When noticing "too much" and "too little" responses, talk to you child in a neutral or nonjudgmental manner (I don’t think you meant to ask for that in a too much way but it came across that way because such a loud voice was used). Share with your child that you are pointing these things out to help them recognize how it can be perceived by others. Share that you know how polite and respectful your child is and you don’t want others to think differently. It’s important to remember that all of us have a hard time using the "just right" approach all of the time. Especially during this uncertain time, it is typical that family members become stressed with each other and resort to too much (yelling, trying to be forceful, getting into others’ space) or too little (hiding out in a bedroom for extended periods of time, passively agreeing with what others suggest, not sharing their own feelings about things) ways of communicating. As best you can, try to be aware of how members of your family are communicating during this time and use gentle reminders or I-messages (I feel upset when I hear you yelling at your brother, could we work together to come up with a "just right" way to tell him?). Need extra support during these times? We have several openings for parents, teens and children above 10 for teletherapy appointments. Please contact us to set up an appointment. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH Note: Some concepts adapted from the game TOO MUCH, too little, Just Right by Weiss, C., Singer, S., and Feigenbaum, L.

We have made it through another week. Great job! As we head into the weekend, we hope you are able to take a break from less preferred tasks and can enjoy some fun time with your family. Playing games can be such a great way to stay engaged with each other in a positive way, it can be a great way to break up these long days, and it can lead to lots of fun and laughter. Today’s focus skill is being a good sport. A good sport means that a person is able to remain safe, respectful, responsible, and helpful whether they win or lose. Three steps include: Getting calm (using any previous skill) Using kind words Using kind actions Below are some examples that can be used. Within your own home with your children you may still be using high fives and handshakes, however thumbs up or fist bumps may be a better approach to decrease the exposure of germs. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Not all activities have to have a winner and the goal of all activities does not have to involve being better than others. Riding bikes, climbing trees, or doing an art project can easily turn into competitions. Balance competitive activities with doing things just for enjoyment. ● Reinforce whenever you see your child being a good sport (whether he/she wins or loses). This could also relate to not getting a treat first, not getting the color cup that was wanted, etc. ● Provide a preset of the purpose of games (one goal is to win but another purpose is to spend time together and to have fun). Games are often not fun when people aren’t being good sports. ● Notice and reinforce when your child is able to compliment a family member who is doing well in an activity even when he/she is not being as successful. ● Discuss possible outcomes of the game prior to starting the game (ex. we could win or lose) and make a plan for using skills when frustrated. Ask your child what he/she can do to get calm and what kind words and actions could be used. ● Identify phrases to use when not winning (these could be silly or humorous) ● Discuss the impact of being a good sport when winning occurs (using a friendly smile rather than telling people that they won over and over). Sometimes our intention of being humorous (ex. making comments about being the best) when winning can cause others to feel upset. ● Point out the impact of being a good sport. It creates a sense of connection, enjoyment, and overall sense of calm that is needed right now. Taking the time to practice these skills at home will lead to lots of laughs and wonderful memories. Children will eventually use these good sports skills we they back to their normal routines that may include athletic competitions, auditions or tryouts, or competitive school-related tasks. They will be better equipped to handle these situations with all of their current practice. Take the time to truly enjoy and appreciate each other this weekend without the additional tasks that occur during the week!

We are almost through another week. Yesterday we practiced deciding if our words and actions are helpful or hurtful and today, we will expand on that skill. Today’s focus skill is deciding when to say it or think it (keep it in our head). It is common for us to have so many thoughts and opinions in our head at one time. Especially now, we may have even more thoughts swirling around as we are trying to multitask at home while also hearing a constant stream of news and updates. When we are taking in so much information, it’s hard to know what to do with it all. Empower your children to recognize that they get to choose their words. They get to decide when it is helpful to share their words and when it would be hurtful. If it would be hurtful, they can choose to keep those thoughts in their head. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Validate that it’s normal to have lots of thought and opinions and it’s okay for us to have different opinions and negative thoughts. Review yesterday’s skill to help your child decide if statements that are made would be helpful or hurtful to others. ● Talk to your children about possibly taking to an adult about certain topics, thoughts or opinions rather than a sibling (personal information, frustrations with a sibling that don’t necessarily need to be shared at the moment). ● Discuss what topics may be appropriate for different times/environments (certain topics may not be appropriate at the dinner table). ● Brainstorm responses that can be used for “gifts”. Someone may make a picture for a sibling or a child may help prepare food. It’s OK to not like it and we often teach honesty however, a thank you may be a better response than this doesn’t taste good. We don’t need to lie, but we can choose different words or phrases. ● Relate this topic to personal qualities in others. We may notice that we don’t like someone’s outfit or hair style but we don’t need to share those opinions. A child may recognize that a sibling struggles with a certain game or academic skill. This observation does not need to be shared. The more time we spend cooped up with family, there may be less tolerance for individual differences. Provide opportunities to cope with this low frustration tolerance (separate, give space, move to a preferred activity). ● Relate this skill to interruptions. Encourage your child to keep the thought in their head until it is their turn to talk. Have them start with an on-topic comment before changing the topic during back and forth conversations. ● As adults, we can practice this skill by deciding how much information our children should know about COVID-19. Too much information may be harmful and scary. Focus on sharing information that they have control over (social distancing, hand washing, etc.). ● Go to Gonoodle.com for a short activity about self-awareness of swirling thoughts. https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/swirling ● One exception to the “say it or think it” rules is thoughts regarding personal safety or thoughts of hurting self or others. These should be shared with an adult. Reassure your child that you and/or another adult will help with any uncomfortable thought and seek any support needed. Although we are teaching kids to not make comments that are hurtful, take the time to really ask how they are doing. How do they feel? How are they handling this situation? Reassure them that they can always share thoughts and feeling about how they are doing even if they think it will be upsetting to adults. Let them know that you are there for them and want to know about any uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. No one was prepared for this current situation and this new experience is something we are all adjusting to. Please reach out to our intake coordinator if you are needing any extra support during this time.

We are halfway through another week. As we are now multiple weeks into this new, temporary way of life, reflect on your daily schedule and routine. Is it still going well? Does your child have the structure and balance of work time and play time? Are you and your family keeping up with healthy eating habits or have you slowly started to get away from meals as snaking throughout the day has increased? We may just be getting through each day without thinking about it but today, take time to reflect and make changes to benefit you or your family. Today’s focus skill is asking ourselves if our choices are helpful or hurtful? This strategy involves deciding if a behavior or choice will make a situation better or worse and choosing a response that will make the situation better for yourself and others. This strategy is focused on thinking ahead and predicting positive and/or negative outcomes for choices. It also teaches thinking strategies that are intended to replace impulsivity with impulse control by thinking about the best choice for the future rather than thinking of what is wanted in the moment. Empower your child to take ownership and pride in choices that are made. Use the motto, I am in charge of my choices. Use these steps to teach this skill: Suggestions for using this skill: ● Notice and point out the positive impact of good choices. Use language such as, that is so helpful when you are kind because everyone in the home feels better and the kindness spreads. You helped all of us feel better and get along better today. ● When addressing negative behaviors (name calling, arguing, not following directions, etc.) try to avoid labels such as lazy, rude, etc. and calmly explain the impact that it has on everyone. Keep the behavior separate from personal qualities. Our children will be better able to accept the feedback. Especially during his time of stress, we are all going to say or do hurtful things without that being our intent. ● Have your child pretend to look into a crystal ball to predict what will happened when making choices. What would be the outcome of each and which outcome do we want? ● When watching TV shows/movies or reading books, discuss the choices of characters (positive and negative) and connect it to the outcome (positive and negative). ● Go to gonoodle.com for a short activity on spreading kindness: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/make-someone-happy ● Go to gonoodle.com for a short video on helping others: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/help-others This is a time when we may feel that throughout this isolation, we don’t have as much of an impact on others. Instead, this may be a time when we have the greatest impact. Our kind words may mean the world to someone right now. At the same time, hurtful words may also impact people more than they typical would due to our stressed state. Let’s be patient with one another and remember that we are all doing our best to handle this difficult time. Take time for self-care for yourself and your child. The more we take care of ourselves physically and emotionally, the better we will be able to use this skill. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Good morning! I hope your Tuesday is off to a good start. We are all currently dealing with so many limits in life related to where we can go and who we can see. This can cause us to feel frustrated, irritated, anxious, fearful…the list could go on and on. This leads right into today’s focus skill of coping with limits by saying “okay”. Throughout this time of being physically limited from many places, our children are also dealing with additional limits at home. On a daily basis, kids are told "no" for a variety of reasons, and especially after being cooped up at home for weeks, they may be pushing these limits. Part of this may be a result of trying to gain some control since so much has been taken away. When responding to limits, it’s okay to feel mad, angry, or any feeling, however the skill today is to cope with the situation, the difficult feelings, and respond in a respectful manner. All of the previous calming strategies can be used when responding to limits or being told "no", so this is a good day to review, practice, and apply those skills as needed. There are 3 steps to respond to limits/being told no: Get calm (previous strategies: breathe, count, positive or relaxing thought, breaks, etc.) Look at the person talking (to acknowledge the person/show that they were heard) Respond (verbally or nonverbally) Since we know that limits can cause an increase in difficult feelings, it is okay for our children to respond verbally or nonverbally. When at a stressed state, it may be difficult to use respectful language or a calm tone of voice. Coping and accepting the limit is more important than using eye contact and having a verbal response. If we require a verbal response from a child when they are upset, we may not be getting the response we want. A nonverbal response can be used by just following the direction. Responses may include: Verbal Responses Okay Sure No problem Got it That's fine Nonverbal Responses Nod Thumbs up OK signal Following the direction Suggestions for using this skill: ● Reinforce with your child that saying OK doesn’t mean that they like the limit and it doesn’t mean that they agree. It just means that they are being brave and courageous in how they are handling the limit. ● When appropriate, provide a reason for rules or for limits. For example, If you eat a snack now, you won’t be hungry for dinner and I want you to have a healthy dinner to make your body and mind strong. ● When giving a limit or rule, it’s OK to let the child know you need to think about an answer before saying yes or no. ● Provide reminders of positive outcomes for saying OK or coping with being told no. ● When faced with limits, children may experience a lack of control, which can create an overreaction. Validate feelings, provide reassurance, and encourage appropriate choices when responding (what to say and do). ● Provide a perception of choice when possible to allow your child to have some control. Reading needs to get done today. Would you like to do it before or after lunch? Would you like to read by yourself or with me? Would you like to read on your bed or on the couch? These options provide a sense of control, choice, and independence. ● Practice these 3 steps. Share with you child that this is difficult for everyone. Play a game in which the child is the adult telling you “no” and you follow the 3 steps. ● Identify other phrases that than be used to respond to limits – have fun with it! As a nation, community, and household, we are all dealing with limits. We are in this together and we can become stronger and more resilient because of it. Try to focus on what we do have control over and what we can do during this time period. We are all getting some extra practice, and hopefully getting better at using coping skills and handling difficult feelings. These are skills our children will have for the rest of their lives. Please reach out if you need support during this time, whether it is for your child, or as a parent. We have immediate openings for teletherapy with several of our therapists. We hope you all have a wonderful day. -Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

Happy Monday. Hope you all had a nice weekend. Now that we are back into another “school week” try to schedule the weekdays to be more consistent with a typical school schedule. Try to use the same bedtimes and evening schedules as you would typically follow when school is in session. This will help to ensure that children are getting the sleep that is needed which greatly impacts mood and behavior Today’s focus skill is thinking of rewards, which is thinking of incentives and other positive consequences for choices that are made. This skill can be related to academics, chores, hobbies, interactions with others, etc. This can also be related to our current situation. Although we are practicing social distancing, we continuously hear difficult news. We can start to feel hopeless without seeing the positive impact that we would want to see. Try reminding yourself and your children that we are making a difference and we are helping many others stay healthy and safe. The purpose of this skill to notice the positive impact of positive choices on self and others which should therefore increase the frequency of the behavior. Some rewards for positive choices may include: ● Feeling happy and proud ● Earning tangible incentives or positive outcomes (dessert after finishing dinner, extra electronic time, etc.) ● Completing an activity or project ● Learning something new (gaining knowledge or making progress with something) ● Making others feel good (parents, siblings, friends, etc.) Suggestions for using this skill: ● Help your child make the connections between choices and positive outcomes. Finishing that assignment made you feel relieved and working hard helped you get better at reading. Being kind to others helped everyone feel happy today. ● Be specific with compliments: replace good jobwith you kept trying and didn’t give up on that worksheet! Now it’s done and you don’t have to worry about it. ● Pair any incentives with actions (you earned extra electronic time because you worked so hard with finishing your assignments today). Provide reminders of incentives prior to and during less preferred activities to increase motivation. ● Point out times when your child is courageous for coping with difficulties. Being able to be brave and cope is a positive incentive. The more often we are courageous with our choices, the more likely that these “choices” become habits. Good choices can still be made during tough situations. We can do hard things even when things are easy, boring, or difficult. ● Help your child take ownership for their choices by using language such as, YOU have gotten better at _____ because YOU made good choices by working hard and not giving up. ● Identify and discuss positive outcomes from the current situation. We have all learned that we can handle really difficult things when we work together. We are helping other people stay safe and healthy. ● Brainstorm fun rewards that can be used at home (ex. an adult doing the child’s chore for a day after a week of the child doing it). ● If using a sticker chart at home, be specific as to why the sticker was earned and the impact that it had on others. Today is a day to really focus on the positive (positive choices and incentives). In a couple of days, we will also be working on responding to more difficult behaviors but for now, we can hold off ☺. Since it is the beginning of the week, use this time to think about possible “rewards” for this coming weekend. Think of what may be appropriate for your family (plan a hike or walk at a local spot, do a “camp in” by having a family sleepover, make a special dessert or a favorite meal together, etc.). These upcoming “rewards” can keep the family motivated and connected throughout the week. We hope you all have a wonderful day. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

Happy Friday! We have reached the end of another week. One pattern that you may noticing at home is an increase in headaches or other physical complaints by members of your family. As stress increases, somatic symptoms may also occur such as headaches, stomach aches, etc. These symptoms can also be due to dehydration. At school, kids are used to taking drink breaks throughout the day. Try filling a cup of water in the morning and encourage your child to drink it during the day. If they are used to using a water bottle at school, use the same water bottle throughout the day at home. Staying hydrated will help to maintain a more stable emotional and physical state. Today’s focus skill is tightening and relaxing muscles. As our level of stress increases, we tend to hold the stress and tension in different parts of our body without even realizing it. This skill is a purposeful tightening and releasing of our muscles. With practice, we can start to gain some awareness of times when we are holding tension in our bodies. There are 2 ways to do this technique: 1) Push-Pull-Dangle: while sitting in a chair with hands holding the side of the seat, push down for 5 seconds, pull up on the chair for 5 seconds, and then relax/dangle the feeling off. (When not in a chair, press palms together with elbows out for 5 seconds, squeeze hands together while pulling elbows out for 5 seconds, then relax/dangle the feeling off.) 2) Pretend stress ball: pretend to hold a stress ball and use it to tighten and relax different parts of the body. Tighten each part of the body while counting to 5. For example, pretend to squeeze it between your shoulder and ear, squeeze between knees, feet, etc. (A pretend stress ball is used because we will not always have a real stress ball with us when we are feeling stressed☺.) Suggestions for using this skill: ● Together, practice using each of these techniques and identify times when they could be used. ● Guide your child through one of the techniques when you notice and increase in movement, fidgeting, or distractions. This technique can be used to provide a break during a long assignment. Sometimes taking the time for a short break may actually cause an increase in focusing which can help with the completion of activities. ● Practice using strategies when you are encouraging your child to sit still or wait (this could even be at dinner). Provide validation that sitting still can be difficult. Explain that the push-pull-dangle and the pretend stress ball are strategies to release energy while still sitting still and remaining with the group or activity. ● Guide your child through a general tightening and relaxing of different parts of the body (tighten your feet and count to 5, completely relax your feet, tighten your legs and count to 5, completely relax all the muscles in your legs, etc.). Try using this prior to sleeping to relax the body. ● Try wall pushups, chair pushups, or pressing hands against a wall while tightening all muscles and counting to 10. ● Use a small stuffed animal or an object to complete the pretend stress ball activity. ● Have your child draw a picture of a pretend stress ball so they can better visualize it as they use the strategy. Have them choose the color, shape, and design. ● Go to gonoodle.com: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/on-and-off for a short activity. At school, general stress and energy is often released during daily recess and physical education. During this time at home, provide outlets to release built up energy. Even during academic times, you child may work better while standing or when stretching out on their stomach on the floor. When verbally reviewing any information (math facts, vocabulary, etc.) allow walking or movement. In school, the height of desks and tables are designed for their age group. Finding the right size at home may be more difficult. Experiment and find out what works best. -Marissa, Farah & Lilly

Happy Thursday, everyone! Now that we have all had some practice with the current way of life, we hope you are all settling into the new schedule and system of school at home. As multiple days have gone by, the daily expectations can start to become our new temporary “normal”. Before getting too accustomed to the new way of living, take the time to write down the memories that have been created from this unique experience (eating foods that are not typical due to the limited supplies at stores, playing games together that aren’t usually played, creative ways of connecting with loved ones outside of the home, etc.). Today’s target skill is relaxing thoughts. The purpose of this skill is similar to the goal of positive thoughts. There is a connection between our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. If we change our thoughts, it can help us change our feelings which will make it easier to manage everyday tasks and challenges. Relaxing thoughts involve identifying a relaxing place and using all senses to imagine being at that place. This visualization activity can help calm our bodies and minds. The relaxing thought can be an actual positive memory (special vacation, favorite place outdoors, etc.) or an imagined place. For example, visualize being at the beach on a beautiful day by using all of your senses: ● See: sun, water, sand, toys, family, etc. ● Hear: wind, waves, voices, etc. ● Smell: salty air, sunscreen, etc. ● Taste: favorite snack, drink, etc. ● Feel: feet in the warm sand, water, etc. ● Feelings: happy, relaxed, loved, calm, etc. Other relaxing places may include playing on the swings on a sunny day, going on a nature walk, climbing a tree, being with a special relative, etc. In our current situation, we may be feeling isolated as we are being prohibited from going to many of our favorite places and seeing people outside our immediate family. Although we can’t physically go to these places, we can still take a “virtual field trip” in our mind to think about and enjoy a special place. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Brainstorm relaxing places with your child and ask them to identify their favorite relaxing place. ● Guide your child through a visualization. Have them get in a relaxing position where they can feel most comfortable and encourage them to close their eyes. Guide them through all of the senses as they picture it in their head. ● Have your child draw a picture of their relaxing place with as many details as possible. ● If your child is experiencing a low energy level, sadness, or lack of motivation, try to identify motivating thoughts. Maybe this is a memory from an accomplishment or maybe they are pretending to be a superhero, famous athlete, or racecar driver. This may help to shift their mood and energy level. ● Encourage your child to use visualization to take a break when work gets frustrating or when chores seem overwhelming. ● Have your child to use visualization when falling asleep or if waking up in the middle of the night. A heightened level of stress can interfere with typical sleep patterns but some comforting thoughts may help them to feel safe and secure. ● Go to Gonoodle.com: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/find-peacefor a short visualization activity. During this time period, your child may be missing activities that have been cancelled or postponed (sports events, participation in a school play, etc.). There may be some fear or anxiety about losing skills or abilities that they previously had. The technique of visualization can be used to mentally practice the activity. This mental practice still trains the brain and body to retain the skills. Provide validation for feelings of loss for this activity but also provide reassurance that EVERYONE is in this position so together, everyone will work to get back on track -Marissa, Farah & Lilly

Happy Wednesday, everyone! We have made it halfway through another week. Although weekdays and weekends may start to feel the same, try making them a little different. Maybe your upcoming weekend could include watching a movie together as a family and taking a break from any schoolwork. Thinking of these upcoming activities can keep us going when the weeks seem long. Today’s target skill is positive thoughts. There is a connection between our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. If we change our thoughts, it can help us change our feelings which will make it easier to manage everyday tasks and challenges. Using a positive thought or statement includes identifying something positive and repeating the phrase. Examples may include: ● I can do it ● I can do hard things ● It’s OK or I am OK ● I will not give up ● I think I can Although everyday, and especially under the current circumstances, we are faced with lots of negativity and difficult information, try to balance this information with noticing and being grateful for anything positive. Our current thoughts may include I am stuck at home and the world is unsafe but we can shift that to I am healthy, I have extra quality time with my family, and we will get through this. Either of these thought patterns would likely have a big impact on your mood and actions throughout the day, however, one impact would be positive, and the other would be more negative. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Identify and model the use of positive thoughts throughout the day. Our children may struggle to come up with ideas on their own. This is a unique and new experience for all of us. ● As a family, brainstorm a list of positive statements and post it in a common area. ● Encourage your child to start assignments with a positive statement (I can do this). The statement can be written on the top of a worksheet or on a note nearby. ● Prior to playing a game, identify some positive thoughts that can be used during or after the game if things don’t go someone’s way (it’s just a game, no big deal, maybe next time, I still had fun, etc.). ● Have a contest to see who can use more positive statements throughout the day. Divide your family in half or have the adult(s) compete against the child(ren). ● Ask your child to identify something positive that has occurred throughout this situation (learned to play a new game, now know how to connect with friends in a different way, etc.). ● Spread positivity. Decorate a piece of paper with a positive note or picture to post for people passing by to see. If you have access to a driveway or chalk, write positive statements and messages there. Post pictures with positive statements in your home in random places to be viewed on a regular basis (place a note on the bathroom mirror to be read whenever brushing teeth). Send a card or an email with positive thoughts to a loved one. We can still impact others when being isolated at home! ● Identify problematic times of the day and create some “go to statements” for these situations o Mistakes: everyone makes mistakes o Chores: the sooner I do it, the sooner it will be done Please remember it is OK and completely normal to have negative thoughts and feelings especially at this time. Please be patient with your own negativity and the negative statements and behaviors of your children. This is to be expected. Provide validation and then try to shift thoughts by providing a sense of hope to cope…we can do hard things! -Marissa, Farah & Lilly

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Our daily focus skill is counting. Counting strategies can be used to slow down the body’s stress response in order to feel calmer when things feel overwhelming or out of control. This strategy is a distraction technique that shifts our negative thoughts to something that is more neutral. Counting techniques include: 1. Counting forwards and backwards: slowly counting forward and backwards to 10 (or to any number). 2. Pattern counting: counting by 2s, 5s, or 10s or any other preferred pattern. 3. Color Counting: picking a color and looking around the room to find 5 items of that color. 4. Finger tracing and counting: pair counting while tracing one hand with the other hand (ask your child to show you). 5. GoNoodle.com: Let’s Unwind. Go to https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/lets-unwind This is a calming movement activity that includes some counting. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Try to pair slow breathing with each counting strategy to further increase concentration and to make sure that slow counting is used. Fast counting will end up causing faster breathing and thoughts which will not lead to a calm response. ● Use a technique that will cause some level of concentration (ex. use multiples of 4 if your child is currently working on multiplication, or using counting backwards from 20 if they are working on counting). Choose a strategy that is easy enough to not cause frustration but difficult enough to require some level of focus. Finding this balance will allow the technique to provide a distraction and a shift to neutral thoughts. ● Use color counting while flipping through a picture book or a magazine. Identify a color and try to find objects of that color on each page. ● Use color counting while taking a walk outside. Pick a color and see how many times the color can be spotted during the walk. Pick a different color tomorrow and see if your find more or less. ● When asking your child to wait (while you are making dinner, helping another child, doing your own work, etc.), encourage them to pick a counting strategy while waiting. In school, students often need to wait for the attention from their teacher so this is a skill that will help across settings. Try saying to you child(ren), “what would you do if I was your teacher in school?” when they expect your immediate attention. While we are all at home in the same environment day after day, our thoughts can definitely become repetitive and negative and we can start to feel stuck. Use these strategies to shift some of those thinking patterns. Hang in there. We will get through this. We hope you all have a great day. Sincerely, Marissa, Farah & Lilly

I hope you all had a nice weekend. Today’s focus skill is deep breathing. The body’s natural response to anger, frustration, stress, etc. often includes a faster heartbeat, faster breathing, and tighter muscles. Deep breathing is used to slow down our bodies and help us feel calmer. Breathing strategies can be done preventatively to prepare for upcoming activities and to maintain a calmer state. Breathing can also be used in the moment, when feeling stressed. Breathing techniques: Slow deep breathing: inhale for 3 seconds and exhale for 3 seconds. Repeat for several rounds. Color breathing: pretend to breathe in a calm color and exhale a stressful color. Try making the exhale longer than the inhale. Imaginary breathing: pretend to breathe in a favorite scent and pretend to blow out candles on a birthday cake. Affirmation breathing: pair breathing with affirmation/positive self-talk (think, I am on the inhale, and calm on the exhale or I am on the inhale and OK on the exhale). Make up your own ideas. GoNoodle.com: for a strategy called rainbow breath, go to https://family.gonoodle.com/channels/flow and then go to Rainbow Breath for a guided activity. Suggestions for using this skill: ● If your child is familiar with deep breathing, ask them to teach you the skill. Ask your child to identify times when it could be used at home. ● Encourage your child to practice a favorite deep breathing strategy. Ask them to place one hand on their chest and one hand on their belly and try to get the hand on the belly to move (this is how you know that you are using DEEP breathing). ● Have your child lay on their back and place a small object (ex. stuffed animal) on their belly. See if they can get the object to move up and down while breathing but use slow breathing so it doesn’t fall over. ● Model breathing techniques when you are feeling stressed. ● Practice strategies with your child when you are both calm. If we only tell our children to take a deep breath when upset, they will think that breathing is a something negative. Deep breathing is a preventative skill to be used throughout the day to stay at a calmer state (think of it as daily exercise or eating healthy foods). We hope you all have a wonderful day. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH