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In the hustle and bustle of today's world, we often overlook the profound impact nature can have on our children's development. Dr. Monica Shire, one of our dedicated therapists at Resilient Kids Child & Family Therapy, has delved into this topic in her recent article. She explores how nature-based activities can play a pivotal role in enhancing the social-emotional development of children. What is Nature-Informed Therapy? When I tell people that I am a Nature-Informed Therapist, most people look at me quizzically and ask, “What is that?” I explain that I do therapy with nature, in nature and through nature. Nature is a co-therapist, providing “vitamin N (nature)” for our clients. Nature-Informed Therapy (NIT) has shown extensive correlational positive outcomes for growing children in a number of fields, including the areas of physical, social, and cognitive development. Below I will outline vital research which shows WHY time in nature benefits everyone! Benefits of Nature-Informed Therapy (NIT) NIT and its benefits in early childhood are supported by many recent studies. These studies show that the time we spend in the natural environment affects not only the health of the WHOLE person (cognitive, emotional, social, and physical), but also the time we were in contact with nature during childhood. Research has shown that children who experienced childhood in totally metropolitan settings are 55% more likely to contract mental illness than children who grew up non-metropolitan areas (Engemann et al., 2019). Below I explore the physical, social/emotional, cognitive and familial influences of NIT. Physical Benefits Studies have shown that children who regularly spent time in nature may have better eyesight over their peers and choose healthier foods. For instance, He (2015) found that children in China are spending less time outdoors, which has resulted in epidemic levels of nearsightedness in East and Southeast Asia, with rates in some places reaching almost 90% of 18 year olds. The authors go on to state that “younger children who develop myopia are at a higher risk to develop pathological myopia, or extreme nearsightedness to the point of vision loss” (He et.al., 2015, p. 1). This same study also found that with as little as 40 minutes of additional outdoor time than a control group, almost 10% less children in this study developed nearsightedness. Additionally, Gwiadza et al. (2014), found that children, who have two nearsighted parents, who spend zero-five hours outside each week have a 60% chance of becoming nearsighted but the risk drops to 20% when outdoor time exceeds 14 hours a week. Research shows that children who participate in nature programs with a farming component tend to increase their fruit and vegetable consumption (Azuma & Feenstra, 2007), and have a long-term affinity for vegetables as compared to a control group (Morris & Zidenberg-Cherr, 2002). Cordiano and colleagues (2020) found that families of children who participated in nature-based programs had more conversations about growing food and increased their own time enjoying the outdoors with family. These findings support research that children who are involved with nature-based programs are more likely to understand the origins of food (Health Impact Assessment, 2011; Savoie-Roskos et al., 2017). Social/Emotional Benefits Social-emotional development is a critical dimension of growth in early childhood. There are benefits in terms of well-being, self, motivation and prosocial behavior. Neill and Richards (1998) directed three meta-analytic studies considering the impacts of nature-based programs and included 12,000 participants. Their research measured the effects of this type of activity on self-concept, self-confidence and locus of control. A small to medium retained impact was found in these areas in participants. They also found that NBE has many long-term effects at home and in school such as improved concentration, communication and learning (Neill & Richards, 1998). The American Academy of Pediatrics’ 2007 report on the importance of play ascertains that play protects children’s emotional development while living a jam-packed lifestyle and lack of down time can be a source of stress, anxiety and may even contribute to depression (Ginsburg, 2007). One study found that children’s feelings of anxiety lessen promptly after seeing green spaces for as little as 20 minutes, a straightforward, fast and efficient counteractant for stressed children (Kuo et al., 2004). Nature helps children feel less stress and interact in positive ways, but a 2009 study at the University of Rochester takes it a step further and reveals that being in, or even looking at, nature also makes human beings behave in a more caring manner (Weinstein et al., 2009). In 2009, Weinstein and colleagues found that people are more thoughtful when they’re around nature. This controlled study examined 370 adults, male and female, in four sub-studies. The subjects in the experimental (nature) group were shown to exhibit more prosocial and other-focused responses as compared to the control or non-nature group. Each group completed surveys before and after each sub-study which yielded similar results across studies. Studies have also shown that outdoor time positively impacts depression as well as self- discipline in children. In a study involving girls and boys between 7 and 12 years of age, more delay of gratification was found when they worked on tasks that required attention while they were in green spaces (Faber Taylor et al., 2002). In addition, outdoor time has the potential to alleviate childhood depression, which is characterized by low mood, anxiety, and loss of self-esteem, among other symptoms (Delate et al., 2004). According to Delate et al. (2004), antidepressant use is increasing in approximately two million persons under the age of 18. Throughout the four year study, antidepressant use increased by 49%, with the quickest developing section of clients discovered to be 0-5 year-old children. Further and just as important, NBE has the potential to develop students’ connections to their environment through an understanding that they are a part of a symbiotic ecosystem, exploring place-based interactions looking more deeply into questions such as how we connect to the Earth and our purpose (Woodhouse & Knapp, 2000). Cognitive Benefits School readiness and the transition from preschool to kindergarten is a particular area of importance in the early years. This transition considers the whole child and includes many aspects of development, such as social emotional learning as well as the development of motor skills and approaches to learning which are all predictors of academic and social success (Ladd & Price, 1987; National Association for the Education of Young Children [NAEYC], 1996). There are NIT benefits in terms of school readiness, peer play, student motivation, engagement, school readiness and concentration. Berman and colleagues (2009) stated that walking through nature can reinvigorate the brain circuits responsible for mental fatigue and even increase executive function tasks (Berman et.al., 2009). Improved attention, an imperative factor in learning, is another shown benefit of NBE. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC, 2021) presently gauges that 4.5 million kids aged 5-17 years have been determined to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) with the disorder expanding 3% every year between 1997 and 2006 (Bloom & Cohen, 2006). Li and Sullivan (2016) showed that concentration and self-control improves if students perform academic tasks in classrooms with open windows that overlook green spaces. This randomized controlled experiment included 94 secondary education students across five separate urban and rural high schools. The researchers used three different classrooms in each school; one with no windows, one with windows that viewed a manufactured space and one overlooking a green space. The data analysis indicated that the participants in the third classroom, overlooking green space yielded significantly better test performance in relation to attention. Measuring physiological measures of stress, these same participants also showed an accelerated recovery from stressful events more so than the two other classrooms. Furthermore, and just as important, NIT has the potential to develop students’ connections to their environment through understanding that they are a part of a functional ecosystem, exploring interactions between species and places, and even looking more deeply into questions such as How can create a connection to the earth? and, What is my human purpose? (Woodhouse & Knapp, 2000). Family Impacts Research shows that children who participate in nature-based programs with a farming component tend to increase their fruit and vegetable consumption (Azuma & Feenstra, 2007), and have a long-term affinity for vegetables as compared to a control group (Morris & Zidenberg-Cherr, 2002). Cordiano and colleagues (2020) found that families of children who participated in a NBE had more conversations about growing food and increased their own time enjoying the outdoors with family. These findings support research that children who are involved with nature-based programs are more likely to understand the origins of food (Health Impact Assessment, 2011; Savoie-Roskos et al., 2017). As stated above, NIT has shown extensive correlational positive outcomes for growing children in a number of fields, including the areas of physical, social, and cognitive development. Furthermore, and just as important, NIT has the potential to develop students’ connections to their environment through understanding that they are a part of a functional ecosystem, exploring interactions between species and places, and even looking more deeply into questions such as “How do I connect to the Earth?” and “What is my purpose as a human being?” (Woodhouse & Knapp, 2000). The ongoing impact of nature-based experiences reach far beyond the actual lessons, with more immediate benefits in the class and home environments, including improved concentration, learning, self awareness, and interpersonal communication (Neill & Richards, 1998). All of these benefits point to a “YES” for nature-based education. It is apparent from the research above that time in nature is promising given that it is associated with positive physical, social/emotional, cognitive, and family outcomes. While there is much research correlating time in nature with positive effects, we know little about the long-term effects on children nor do we know if NBE will work for children across all demographics. NBE seems beneficial and there are no reports that it is harmful based on existing correlational and case study research. More examination of data from a number of independent studies of NBE are needed in order to determine overall trends. Longitudinal studies showing the reach of the causal and correlational effects of NBE would be valuable for researchers and stakeholders to make decisions as to whether to create more NBE programs and/or to fund these programs. Much research needs to be done in order to realize this. In the next section, I discuss the rise of personal technology and screen time. In 2020, education has changed as we know it with online and hybrid models dominating most countries and states’ educational programs. Children as young as two are “zooming” for preschool social time and instruction. In a survey by Clutch, 44 % of Americans reported working from home at least five days a week during the pandemic (Roddy et al., 2020). Many of these parents are working while assisting their children with online schooling. Kam (2020) reported that the greater part of Americans (56%) detailed that stress identified with the pandemic has resulted in a negative emotional impact. These include issues with eating and resting, drinking too much alcohol, regular migraines or stomach pain, limited temper, and other medical conditions. Among frontline health care workers and their families, 64% reported decreased mental health, as did 65% of those who had lost income (Kam, 2020). Charles et al. (2009) discussed the importance of helping children connect with nature as a change in our culture and in turn children will develop into happier and smarter kids. References Antioch University (2021). 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Recent studies from the Institute of Heart-Math have unveiled an incredible connection between humans and our equine companions. Did you know that being close to horses can lead to a two-way 'healing' effect? The heart, known to possess an electromagnetic field even larger than the brain, projects energy up to 3 meters around our bodies. But hold onto your horses for this incredible fact... a horse's heart produces an electromagnetic field five times larger than ours! Imagine an sphere of energy enveloping these majestic creatures, influencing our very own heart rates. Horses possess a unique "coherent" heart rate pattern that aligns with feelings of calm and joy. This pattern mirrors our positive emotions and reflects a state of well-being. It's a telltale sign of their efficient stress recovery system. Simply being in their presence can fill us with a sense of peace and contentment. Interacting with these gentle giants offers a cascade of benefits: from reduced blood pressure and heart rate, an increase in pain-relieving beta-endorphins, and lowered stress levels, to improved social interactions and heightened feelings of empowerment, patience, and self-confidence. Let's take a moment to celebrate these four-legged therapists who hold the key to a happier, healthier heart. Whether it's through equine-assisted psychotherapy, or a simple nuzzle, these incredible creatures remind us that healing can come from the most unexpected places. At Resilient Kids Child & Family Therapy, we're thrilled to offer you the transformative experience of Equine Assisted Psychotherapy, hosted in collaboration with the Middletown non-profit, Buddy's Place, Inc. Our team of dedicated mental health professionals, along with their equine co-therapists, are here to guide you every step of the way. How to Get Started: Have questions? Call Us (302-279-6491 or Email Us at intake@resilientkidstherapy.com Ready to get started? Complete the intake request form (https://www.resilientkidstherapy.com/schedule-a-session). This will help us understand your needs and preferences, ensuring that we tailor the experience to you.

🌈 Helping Your Child Navigate Back-to-School Anxiety📚✨ Hey there, amazing parents! 🌟 Is your child feeling a bit nervous about heading back to school? At Resilient Kids Child and Family Therapy, we've got your back with some expert tips to make this transition smoother for your little ones. 🤗💪 🎒Acknowledge Their Feelings: Sometimes it's tempting to focus only on the positive aspects of the new school year, but let's remember that our kiddos might be harboring worries. Let them know you're there to listen and understand their concerns. 🧡 🗣️ Open Up the Conversation: Don't shy away from discussing challenges your child has faced before—learning difficulties, social issues, or anything else. These struggles can guide us towards providing the right support! 🚀 🤔 Empower Them: Encourage your child to voice their worries. This helps them feel heard and allows us to work together on solutions. What if they're afraid of speaking in class? What if math feels overwhelming? We're here to help them build strategies and confidence! 💬📝 🎈 Validate Their Worries: Remember, what may seem small to us can be huge for them. Those “big kids” in the hallway, class changes, or just fitting in—these worries matter. Let's listen, empathize, and help them navigate these feelings. 🤗❤️ 🌟 Highlight the Positives: We understand that anxiety can cast a shadow on even the brightest moments. Let's work together to remind them of the good times they've had at school, like cherished friends, favorite classes, and exciting activities! ✨🎉 📅 Stay Supportive: Sometimes our little ones might not feel like talking, and that's okay. At Resilient Kids, we encourage you to be a steady presence, letting them know you're here whenever they're ready to share. 🌼🤝 Let's make this back-to-school season a success for your child! 💫 If you're looking for a safe space where your child can thrive emotionally, Resilient Kids Child and Family Therapy is here for you. Reach out to us today and let's embark on this journey together. 🌈🌱 #ResilientKidsTherapy#BackToSchoolConfidence

We hope you were able to have a restful Memorial Day weekend and took some time away from school and work to have a little fun! It’s hard to believe that we are entering our sixth week of this program (and many families have been home together for even much longer than that). One aspect of life at home that has been in the spotlight is a sense of competitiveness, whether between children in the home (sibling rivalry, anyone?), friends over email and video chat (who’s been watching the most TV, or doing all their schoolwork first), or even a child with himself (trying to one-up him/herself at a task each time). Often adults find themselves attempting to calm the waves and mediate while helping the different parties get along. Our target skill for today is identifying competitive words versus cooperative words. Competitive words (faster, stronger, etc.) are usually words that make us feel sad or angry. These are words to try and limit when talking with family and friends or thinking about our own abilities. On the other hand, cooperative words usually make us feel happy and calm and help us to work with others. Examples of competitive versus cooperative words are below: Suggestions for using this skill: ● Encourage your child to use cooperative words when interacting with others. Model this language at home (ex., let’s work together to clean up the game). ● It may be helpful to explain that our brains are wired to be focused on comparing and keeping track of who is best, quickest, etc., but making comparing statements can make others (and ourselves) feel sad. ● At times, making comparisons (who got the highest grade, who was done first, etc.) can become such a habit that it negatively impacts a person’s mood and perception of situations. Work with your child to recognize personal strengths and growth. Work on also recognizing strengths of a group. ● If you find that your child is overly competitive with him/herself, and therefore upset and negative when things don’t go their way, help them to set realistic goals (they are probably not going to go from 50% made baskets to 90% overnight). When working on a skill, everyone’s path is different. We all have good days and bad days. What is important is to show courage by continuing to try and asking for help when needed. ● Go to Gonoodle.com: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/on-and-off or a short activity on turning off high stress energy to reset. I may be helpful to remind the members of your family that you are all working on the same team, especially during this difficult time. You may wish to point out that your family has gotten through many difficult times already, and that it was done by working together and caring for one another. Using cooperative words is one way that we show each other that we care and understand that we are stronger when we work together. We hope you all have a great day. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

Happy Friday. We have made it through another week! We hope you are able to have balance in your daily routine that includes some academics along with time for fun activities and outside time. At school, teachers often balance the amount of academics with fun too and Fridays are often days that may involve assemblies, class rewards, or just some extra fun. Kids work hard throughout the week so making Friday a little more flexible with more outdoor time or fun activities is OK! Kids may also be tired and a little burned out by Fridays (so are we as adults ☺), so different expectations can be exactly what is needed for everyone. Continue to read signs of stress in your children and let that guide what is needed for each day. Today’s target skill is letting go of the rope. This is a kid-friendly phrase for “managing conflicts”. On a daily basis there may be arguments, disagreements, or differences in opinions. This is all normal; however, these may be intensified as we spend more and more time together in close proximity. We can use “letting go phrases” to avoid conflicts or to resolve conflicts once they have started. When applying this skill, think of a tug of war as a conflict and letting go of the rope as resolving conflicts. ● Tug of war is when we keep going back and forth with our words or actions and it becomes arguing or fighting. ● Letting go of the rope means no longer arguing. It may include walking away, ignoring, or using letting go phrases. Examples of language used during a tug of war vs. letting go of the rope: Other letting go phrases can include, let’s agree to disagree, let’s not make a big deal out of it, let’s move on, let’s take a break from this, I don’t want to argue about this, or even,let’s let go of the rope. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Encourage your child to let go of the rope instead of engaging in a tug of war when in a conflict with others. Model this language at home using the phrases above. ● Brainstorm other letting go phrases that would be appropriate for your child to use in different situations. The more natural the phrases are for your child, the better they will be able to use them when needed. ● Sometimes our belief system includes ideas that we are stronger when we fight our battles or “finish” the argument. Try reframing these concepts to being brave and courageous by letting go of the rope or not grabbing it in the first place. ● Work on empathy to help your child be curious as to why someone else is engaging in an argument (are they feeling sad, frustrated, tired, etc.). Maybe they are sad because of something we did and if so, we can apologize and show support. Or, we may realize that friends are struggling with other things and it’s not personal. Still, we can offer support while setting healthy boundaries. ● Go to Gonoodle.com: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/let-it-go for a short video. We will all probably have lots of opportunities to practice today’s skill! Typically, children are asked to work as a team in many different environments (working with a group in a club, on a team, during group work in school, when working with partners, etc.). During all of these situations, being open to other opinions, using ideas from others, problem-solving, and handling conflict are important to be successful. Use this time for your family to work as a team on all of these skills. Please reach out if you need extra support during this time, we have several openings for teletherapy with our therapists. We hope you all have a wonderful weekend that involves a balance of fun and relaxation. Enjoy! Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

Hope you are off to a good Thursday! As time goes on and the repetitive nature of our days continue, things that we could easily handle on day one may not be easy to handle now. A rainy day at the beginning was a day to enjoy some indoor games and movies. Rainy days now may feel much more difficult to handle…probably because we have watched everything we wanted to watch and we have had plenty of time to play games. What seemed like a little deal weeks ago now seems much bigger today. Today’s target skill is learning to recognize and appropriately perceive what is a big deal vs. little deal. This self-awareness technique helps us recognize our perception or our private logic (the way we view ourselves, others, and the world). Especially during times of stress, our brain can get it wrong. These two different categories can be defined by using this criteria: Suggestions for using this skill: ● As a family brainstorm mountain (big deal) problems vs. mole hill (little deal) problems as they relate to your home or situation. Identify strategies to handle each (independent skills or ways of seeking support from adults). Do this activity when everyone is at calm state and when difficulties are not occurring. ● Encourage your child to decide if a problem is a mountain or a mole hill. They will be much more receptive if they can identify that a problem is smaller than it was initially perceived. Empower your child to use skills and strategies to cope. ● Prior to starting academic tasks, ask your child if they think the assignment or task is a mountain or mole hill. This can help you gauge the amount of help they may need with the actual task or to identify strategies to cope. Ask your child what ideas they have to make the task feel more manageable. ● Prior to starting games, have a discussion about mountain/mole hill concepts. To prevent your child from feeling targeted use language that is for the entire family (what if we don’t get the game piece that is our favorite color vs. what if you don’t get the blue piece). Would it be a big deal or little deal? How can we handle it? ● When your child is upset, validate feelings. Even little/mole hill problems can still make us upset and can cause changes in our bodies (faster heartrate, breathing, stomach ache, headache, etc.). It’s important to help your child recognize these changes and help them to connect the sensations with their feelings. Use positive self-talk to help them remind themselves that they are OK even though they feel mad or sad. ● Remind your child that every time they cope with difficulties they are being courageous and getting stronger. They will be much better able to handle future difficulties. ● Ask your child how they would help a friend with a similar problem. What advice would they give? Sometimes it’s easier to help other people with problems than it is to solve our own. ● Try to separate your child’s “overreaction” from personal qualities or labels (you are being so dramatic or sensitive). Focus more on the science of what happens with our brains and bodies when we are upset; we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode and we can’t access the “thinking part of our brains”. The first step is getting calm and the problem solving can occur later. ● Share kid-friendly examples with your child of times when your brain got it wrong. ● Remind your child that they are part of a team and they never have to handle problems alone. Even when you are not directly helping, let your child know that they always have your love and support to provide strength and to steer them in the right direction. ● Go to Gonoodle.com: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/weather-the-storm for a short activity on coping with difficulties. Notice when your child (or you) reacts as though something is a big deal when typically it would be viewed a little deal. This will happen and it’s important to be patient with yourself and others. Be curious about this change in perception that is causing an “overreaction”. It’s often not about the “game piece” and instead is about an overall sense of stress. Ask yourself what feeling or need is underneath the behavior or the reaction. Is there a lack of sleep, loss of control, lack of positive connections, or feeling hopeless, inadequate or having general feelings related to anxiety? Try to identity and support these feelings and needs. This will not only address the need for the specific game piece but it will also support other situations too. We hope you all have a great day. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

We are half way through another week. As we are all continuing to cope with uncertainty and lack of control in our lives, we may all be compensating by attempting to create control in other ways. Our kids may be more demanding of our attention, they may be trying to do things an exact way and they may be less flexible in their thinking. They may be more competitive with attempting to be first or to have a specific toy at a specific time. Today’s target skill is to use problem solving skills to determine order. These skills can help with managing many different types of conflict or difficulties at home too. As adults, we often solve problems for our kids and we determine outcomes or final answers. Today’s skill empowers kids to pick strategies to solve problems and to determine outcomes themselves. When using problem solving strategies, it also takes the responsibility away from the adult as the outcome of the strategy determines the outcome. This way, YOU don’t get blamed for not being FAIR ☺. Try using some of these strategies to determine order or get creative and identify your own ideas. Suggestions for using this skill: ● When presenting problem solving ideas, try using these steps: 1. Suggest an idea: “Let’s do ___________.” 2. Define therules: “The person who ________, goes first.” ex. Rock-paper-scissors: decide on one round or best of 3 3. Check in: “Does everyone agree?” ● Practice whatever strategies that you feel would be appealing and fun for your family. Brainstorm other ideas. If you have electronic devices that help determine order, use anything that you have access to. If you have straws, cut them to different lengths and practice drawing straws to see who gets the longest. ● Use these skills to determine who will go first in a game, who will do certain jobs at home, who will shower or brush teeth first, who gets to choose the game to play, who gets to sit in a certain spot, deciding what specific rule will be used during the game, what TV show or movie to watch, etc. There are so many decisions to be made! ● Review and practice good sport skills and coping skills for handling outcomes that are not in your favor. Brainstorm positive thoughts that can be applied such as maybe next time. Notice and compliment your child for using these skills as needed. ● Talk to your child about the purpose of most games and activities. The most important part is spending time together and having fun rather than get the desired game piece or going first. ● Share the impact of these skills - they are fun and a good way to solve conflicts. These are helpful skills to get along better with friends. ● Go to Gonoodle.com: https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/go-with-the-flow for a short activity on coping with change. Use these strategies for fun and enjoyment and feel free to be silly. If there is more than one adult at home, model this strategy by using rock-paper-scissors to determine who will take the garbage out. This can also be done with your kids for one of their chores - if they win, you need to do their chore. Be imaginative and help your child tap into their creative and flexible sides. It’s important for kids to see adults having fun and being silly especially during a stressful time period. The more kids can use these strategies at home with you, the better they will be able to apply them with friends during playdates, during recess at school, etc. Enjoy your day! Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

We hope your day is off to a good start! Hopefully we were all able to take some time to reflect on our listening skills from yesterday and we can all remain mindful of making time to provide that undivided attention each day. Today, we will expand on our communication with one another by focusing on our target skill of asking politely. It is common for all of us to treat co-workers, neighbors, or strangers is a polite manner. We may be more focused on using our polite and thoughtful skills with these people, while in the comfort of our homes and with familiar people, we may be less likely to use a smile, friendly tone, or manners. We make requests of one another all day along (we have requests for our children and they have request for us). Try using these steps: Suggestions for using this skill: ● Make a plan as a family to place an effort on using manners and asking politely. ● Notice when your child is using language such as I need ____ or get me the ____.Kindly remind your child of steps to ask politely and encourage them to rephrase their language. Ask, how could you ask for that differently? ● Use this time at home to balance helping while also encouraging independence when possible. Maybe the typical school routine includes preparing cereal or toast for your child each morning; however, this may be a task that can be done independently. Now that we don’t have time constraints with getting to a bus on time, encourage your child to complete age-appropriate tasks with supervision. In school, your child is used to finding their own materials when needed during the day. They may be expecting more from you than what they would from their teacher ☺. ● Practice skills for waiting as your child may not be able to have their request met immediately. This may be a time to use color counting, positive thoughts, taking breaks, etc. When not being able to immediately help your child, provide a timeframe when possible (I have to make one more call for work but can help in 10 minutes). ● When your child is completing school work, practice academic strategies that can be used if they are unable to get help from an adult immediately (ex., circle difficult questions to go back to later, star a question to indicate that a best guess was taken, move on to a different subject or activity that can be done independently until help can be given). ● Notice and show appreciation when your child asks politely and share the impact that it has on others. At the same time, notice and compliment your child for trying tasks independently without asking for help. ● When asking your child to complete tasks or to help with something be aware of the tone and words we use to make these requests. Even as adults, we prefer our bosses to ask us politely to complete tasks and show appreciate for our efforts. It does make a difference in our attitude, motivation, and effort. As human beings whether we are adults or kids, we get in the habit of continuing with our current behaviors and ways of communicating with others. Take time today to reflect on the manners you use with one another. The more we consistently use and reinforce manners with our children, the more likely that these phrases become habits. After time, your child won’t even need to put effort into this way of communicating as it will just be natural. This will help with relationships at home, friendships, interaction with teammates, etc. We now understand more than ever the value of social relationships. Use this time to work on these skills to increase the likelihood of your child further developing and maintaining positive interactions and relationships with others. We hope you all have a great day! Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

Dear Parents and Guardians, We hope you had a relaxing and enjoyable weekend. As we have all been spending several weeks with the same people, hopefully we are all bonding and enjoying this time together. At the same time, we are likely to be handling some challenges. We may have less tolerance for one another, we may be tuning people out, we may be spending more time on electronics, and we may be so used to being together that we may not be truly appreciating each other. Today’s target skill is whole body listening. This skills will hopefully help us reconnect in a positive manner. It will also help us be more aware of our communication with each other. In school, students are often taught to use “whole body listening” which requires multiple parts of their body to be used when listening. Listening is actually a complicated skill that involves using more than just our ears. It requires: When introducing steps, focus on the one word direction. When your child is able to use those steps, try to introduce the higher level skills to refine each step. As adults, try being aware of using all of the steps when possible as we can all use reminders of this skill. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Take time to notice and be aware of these steps. Although it’s not realistic to use all of these steps at all times while we are currently multi-tasking and managing many roles, create times during the day when these skills are a priority (eating dinner, playing games, breaks from work times, etc.). ● Identify listening expectations that relate specifically to your children/situation. For example, your house rule may include taking out headphones/earbuds when listening/talking to others in order to show undivided attention or your rule may include no electronics at the dinner table. ● Give a preset prior to expecting skills to be used (ex. Let me know when you have a couple minutes to talk about the plans for today or when you finish this round of the game, please pause so we can talk.). ● When not being able to provide whole body listening to your kids due to working from home or being engaged in a necessary task, let your child know when you will be available. Let them know that their words are very important to you and you want to make sure you provide time when you can give undivided attention. ● If it is not a good time to talk, due to parent or child not being available, use a piece of paper to write down topics to be discussed later. This way important conversations are not lost. ● Provide feedback to your child about how it feels when they use whole body listening (ex. I can tell you are really listening because you are looking at me and nodding your head. It is really thoughtful and mature of you to use these listening skills.). ● Interrupting and off-topics comments are already common for kids but especially during this time, it may increase due to swirling thoughts and feelings. Gently point out the interruption and encourage your child to wait until the person is done talking. ● Go to https://family.gonoodle.com/activities/strengthen-your-focus for a short yoga/balancing activity to help with focusing skills. This current way of life involves lots of distractions that interfere with the use of whole body listening. Be patient with yourself as parents and be patient with your child as regression with this skill may have occurred with all of us throughout this time at home. We can take this opportunity to get back on track! Use today to reconnect and check in with family members to see how everyone is doing. We hope you all have a great day. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

Today’s focus skill is helping to figure out the difference between adult jobs and child jobs at home. With the current situation, all of us have had to adjust to many new roles and duties. Many adults are now responsible for taking on a “teacher” role or a “working from home” role, while children are adjusting to being “students at home”. The important part is that as a family, we are all part of the same team. Everyone on the team may have different jobs, but we all work together. Kids’ jobs include taking care of themselves (following rules, completing schoolwork, picking up belongings etc.). Adults’ jobs include taking care of all family members (helping everyone stay safe, be healthy, and make good choices). Kids can help by letting adults make decisions. Use the visual below with your child to help brainstorm different jobs at home and who is responsible. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Be patient with yourself and your child. Everyone is adjusting to these new roles and responsibilities and it can be confusing. ● Praise your child when they are able to let an adult handle a situation at home. Remind your child that they are being caring and helpful members of the team by letting adults handle certain things. ● Provide positive reinforcement when children are able to fulfil their roles and responsibilities (chores, schoolwork, etc.). Sometimes it can be hard to do our jobs! Ask your child if they used any strategies to help them get through the tough jobs (think of rewards, take a short break and return to the task, positive thought, deep breathing, etc.). Try to recognize not only the completion of the job, but being able to get through the tough job by using coping skills. ● Adults may give kids reminders by stating “adult job” if kids are overly correcting others. As we are all at home, there may be an increase in siblings “parenting” others to cope with frustrations with one another and in an attempt to gain control of the situation. Remind your child that you will take care of it and they can be still be helpful by focusing on themselves and setting a good example for others at home. As much as we can appreciate the time we are getting with our immediate family members, it is important to also acknowledge that we aren’t used to spending this much time together! Flexibility and patience with one another is so important right now as we figure out our new roles. We are definitely getting plenty of time to practice getting better at this skill. Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH

With everyone being at home together for this extended period, I’m sure you can agree that we are all feeling a sense of closeness (physically and emotionally). Sometimes, this is welcomed, such as extra time on the couch together watching a movie, while other times, it may seem like we are too close being together all day. Today’s focus skill is personal space. Personal space is the concept that everyone has a “bubble” around them. People feel uncomfortable when their personal space is invaded. This is also a good time to review the concept of social distancing (keeping at least 6 feet between yourself and others during this time when we are concerned about spreading germs). This can be explained by saying that people need even more personal space right now to help prevent the spread of germs. We should also limit touching others and make sure to wash our hands regularly. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Provide reminders of personal space. Practice by having you and your child stand with arms outstretched and provide a reminder that this is a personal space bubble. Optional activity: if you have access to a hula hoop, have your child hold the hoop around their waist to demonstrate their personal bubble. Have another person walk toward the child and stop when they reach the hoop. Have the child put the hoop down to show a “just right” distance between two people. To illustrate the concept of social distancing, use a measuring tape (or approximate) standing 6 feet away from each other. ● Talk with your child about understanding the differences in personal space depending on the relationship with others (ex. your child may hug you but it wouldn’t be appropriate to hug a stranger). ● Tips to use with any uncomfortable touch (hitting, pushing, etc.) o Say “no” or “stop” o Get away from the person o Tell an adult o Keep telling adults until the problem stops ● Identify personal spaces and boundaries at home (ex. not going into the bedroom or bathroom when doors are shut, not using materials that belong to a specific person without asking first, etc.). ● Use concepts when playing games. Personal space allows people to keep their cards to themselves without other people seeing. When playing board games, we should only move our own game piece because other game pieces “belong” to others. ● Encourage your child to try to “read” the facial expressions and body language of family members and pets (when the cat’s ears go back, it means he/she wants space, when your brother backs up you shouldn’t go closer). Reiterate the pets and family members still like them, but they are most comfortable with more space at that time. ● Encourage and praise your child for respecting others’ personal space at home (ex. siblings, adults, or pets) and by social distancing when in the community. Wash hands frequently! During this time period, encourage your child to participate in activities that support healthy personal space and social distancing. Some suggestions are: staying at home with immediate family, using phone or video chat to keep in touch with family and friends, and going outside for a walk. We recognize that this is difficult for children and adults and your child may need help understanding the why of the current situation or simply validating their feelings of loss ("I understand that you feel upset about not seeing your friends right now"). This is often difficult when the adults are still processing and adjusting to the circumstances, which seem to change daily. One of the most important things you can do for your child at this time is to remain calm and help them to feel safe and supported at home. We will get through this together!

Dear Parents and Guardians, Hello again, families! It might be starting to feel like it’s “never going to end”, that it is “always going to be really hard”, or that “everyone is handling this better” than you are. It is easy to fall into a negative feedback loop during difficult times. The good news is that today’s focus skills is identifying muddy versus clear thinking. Muddy thoughts are often extreme (picture wearing glasses with mud on them – you can’t see well and might not interpret what is going on around you accurately), while clear thoughts tend to be more realistic. ● Muddy thinking: using extreme or negative thoughts/words that make us feel sad or angry (ex., I’m ALWAYS last, YOU NEVER let me play, EVERYONE does that). These words typically aren’t accurate. ● Clear thinking: words/thoughts that make us feel happy and calm and help us to work with others (ex., sometimes I’m first, sometimes I’m last; sometimes people like time alone; sometimes they want to play; sometimes things don’t go my way). These words/phrases are typically more realistic. Our body starts to believe our thoughts whether they are muddy or clear. These thoughts become the truth even when they may not be correct for the situation. The good news is that we can re-train our brains to see things in a more clear way, it just takes practice! Working to change muddy thoughts into clear thoughts can help everyone at home feel more positive and ready to handle challenges. Suggestions for using this skill: ● Turn this skill into a game by having your child guess whether statements are muddy or clear. Children could even come up with ideas and have parents and siblings guess. Make it fun! ● Encourage your child to use clear thinking words when interacting with others and when responding to situations. Try to help them turn muddy thinking to clear thinking by providing examples (ex. sometimes you do go last, but other times you are first; sometimes your sister does want to play with you and other times she wants to be alone). ● Notice when you use muddy thinking and share that with your child (even adults have muddy thinking sometimes, what could I say instead?). During this time, it is easy to get stuck with lots of muddy thoughts. Please remember (and help your child remember), that everyone has muddy thoughts sometimes, especially when things are new, difficult, or different. Everyone can work on changing muddy thoughts to clear thoughts; the first step is recognizing then we get stuck with muddy thoughts in the first place! Sincerely, Marissa Lloyd, LPCMH Note: Muddy thoughts terminology was adapted from the game Clear Thinking by Franklin Learning Systems, Inc. (2000)